Am I Fat!
by AmazingCoolMusic
Summary: Alice gets back at Jasper after he and Emmett decided to cancel all of her credit cards.She purchases a mirror which makes you fat and gets Jasper to think that he is getting fat.Hilarity laboration between AmazingCoolMusic,TheSkyIsFalling 1 more review
1. OPERATION FATTY MIRROR

*this isn't any body's point of view, it's just to set the scene, BTW*

Alice was on eBay trying to find an item that would help her get back at Jasper after he and Emmett decided to cancel all of her credit cards as a prank. After seaching for hours she found a carnival mirror which causes the person looking into it to look fat. She debated for a hour before finally deciding to order it.

~~Two weeks and twenty dollars later...~~

Alice's POV

"Ha ha, it's finally here!" I yelled after getting a vision of a truck pulling up our driveway. I ran at full speed down the stairs and out the door, down to

the end of the driveway just in time to see the UPS truck turn.

"Wow ma'am, have you been waiting here all day?",the obnoxious looking man said.

"No", I replied,"I just have very good timing, now may I have my package, please?"

"Sure, I just need you to sign for it.",the UPS man turned away and went into the truck to grab the box and the clipboard.

"Are you sure your going to be able to carry that yourself",he inquired, eyeing my thin body and wiry arms.

"Yeah, I can manage it.",I sighed as I signed the clipboard.

I waited until the van had left to pick it up and carry it to the house. Luckily everybody had left, I had stayed behind just in case Bella got into some trouble that only she could get into in such a small town as Forks. As I reached the house I could hear the roar of Bella's truck pulling onto the driveway.I would have to include Bella in this, but she had been in on pranks with me before so I know that she was trustworthy.I thought this as I walked into the house. Suddenly I got a vision of Bella tripping when her shirt got caught and stuck to the door and when she got it unstuck she tripped over a twig. Two seconds later my vision came true and I hung my head and sighed, how could a HUMAN be so clumsy? But Bella was never a normal human even before she came to forks and got mixed up in vampires and all that. I smelled blood as she got up.

"Bella, you're bleeding.",I told her.

"Oh, sorry. Are you OK?",she said from behind me.

I turned and noticed the worried look on her face.

"I'm fine Bella,the question is are you?",I replied as the sickly green shade took over her pale face.

"Yeah, I just need a band-aide.", she gasped as I ran to get one. Maybe it was worse than I thought.

No...it wasn't that bad but she looked pretty sick.

"I know how to cheer you up...",I told her with a mischievous look on my face.

"Oh...how so?", She looked at me with an equally mischievous look.

So I wrote down my plan for her so I didn't have to explain it to her a million times and so she didn't forget it. Here is what I wrote:

__OPERATION FATTY MIRROR__  
These are already done:

1-Order carnival mirror which makes the person looking in it look fat.

These are yet to be done:

2-Set up mirror, replacing the full length mirror in the closet door

3-Make up some excuse to get Jasper up to the bedroom(nooooo!!! stop being perverted!!!!)

4-Get Jasper to look in the mirror

5-Make Jasper think he is getting fat

6-Go along with whatever he does

7-Videotape the whole thing

8-Show it to the whole family

9-Make sure that Jasper is not going to get back at us

MWHAHAHA!!!!! This is going to work!!!

Bella looked at me and smiled wickedly. I swear she looked just like a grown up girl Chucky. I shuddered at the memory of that movie. Vampires don't scare easily but that really did scare me. I jumped when he kept chopping up stuff with that rusty axe.

"This is totally going to work. Let's do it!"

"WooHoo! Let's go replace the mirror for the carnival mirror.", I yelled.

And so the prank started as we grabbed,well I grabbed, the mirror and went up the stairs. When we got to my room I went into Edward's room to grab tools that I would need. I never knew why he kept tools in his room,He is just weird like that. When I opened the closet where I knew the tools would be, I was shocked to see that Edward had a shrine to Bella. There were candles and rose petals all over it. There were thousands of pictures of her and some of them were while she was asleep.

"Hmmm...I wonder if Bella knew about this??? I won't tell her just in case...",I whispered to myself.  
I walked back into my room and saw Bella trying to move the big mirror over to the right spot. It nearly fell on top of her, luckily i was there to keep it from crushing her...

"What do you think your doing?!",I yelled and nearly made her fall over.  
"I was just trying to help..Sorry..",she apologized  
"Well...are you trying to get yourself killed?!",I asked, alarmed.

"Maybe...",She said, drawing the word out more than necessary.

"Ugh..what will we have to do with you? Stuff you in the closet...or...tie you up and put you in the attic?",I said, watching the look of panic grow on her face."You know I'm kidding..right?"

After all of the randomness was done, we finally got the mirror and everything set

up and I looked it over and made sure it wasn't cracked, I looked in the future to try to see what Jasper's a while I found this scene...

**__VISION TIME!!!!!!__**

"I need diet blood!!!!",he yelled,"Carlisle!!! Is there such a thing as diet blood??" "Never mind!!!", he yelled without waiting for an answer,"I can't wait for an answer, I'm getting fatter by the minute!!!!"

**__END VISION__**

Wow this is going to be better than I thought. Mwahaha!!

**A/n:::::Hello. This is a collaboration between AmazingCoolMusic and TheSkyeIsFalling This is my first fanfic, but it is also on TheSkyeIsFalling's profile...we worked it all to day to write it...and it is ready random. Please review it!!! TY!!! If we don't get more than 10 reviews in the first three weeks we will delete this story.**


	2. THE FUN BEGINS!

After the vision

I walked into my room and Bella asked,"So are we all set up?"  
"I think so.", I replied with a big smile on my face.  
Bella walked over to the window and asked "So when are they going to be here?"

"21 minutes exactly", I replied.

Then Bella screamed"The video camera!"  
"We can't do this without that!", I screamed and ran to Edward's room again and got the video camera and glanced at the Bella shrine one more time. I walked away shaking my head saying to myself "I have got to tell Bella about that sometime in the future".

"Okay, where are we going to put it?" Bella Asked.

"Hmm..Lets put it in the closet and duck tape it to the door, I dont think Jasper will notice."Alice suggested.

"Okay, lets do it" Bella said excitedly! So Alice Ran to the door and duck taped the video camera to the door and got it ready. After about 10 mins They went downstairs and turned on the tv Pretending to watch TV.."11 more minutes left" Alice whispered.  
Bella flipped through the channels untill she found Nick, an old channel she used to watch.

"What is this?" Alice asked.

"I used to watch this show all the time when i was little." Bella was the show Spongebob.

After about 11 minutes of a boring show all about a walking and talking yellow sponge Jasper finally got home with the rest of the family.

"Hey baby. How're you, Jasper", I asked him.

"Perfect now that I am home", He whispered just before pulling me into a gentle kiss.

"Mmm...we should do this later", I said through the kiss.

He pulled away and felt my forehead and mockingly looked concerned.

" are you sure you're okay? You seem....preoccupied.", He told me.

"No, I just think we are going to have other things to do later", I said without thinking. I berated myself for saying that, he might get somewhat of an idea but he would never figure out what is going to be going on exactly.

"Okkaayy...",He said drawing out the word.

"Lets go to our room and read a book. I wanna spend some quality time with you", I said trying not to sound suspicious.

"Ok", He picked me up and ran to our room with me in his arms.

We walked into the room and I closed the closet so that he would be able to see himself in the mirror if he looked. Just after I thought that he looked at the mirror he screamed " I LOOK FAT!!!!".

He ran downstairs and I followed him but before I left the room I made sure that I got the camera. When I reached him I positioned the camera so that it looked like I was just holding it but it was capturing everything that Jasper was doing. He was yelling at Carlisle.

"I need diet blood!!!!",he yelled,"Carlisle!!! Is there such a thing as diet blood?? Nevermind!!! I can't wait for an answer, I'm getting fatter by the minute!!!!"

"My vision came true" I thought to myself. Then Edward looked at me and

walked over and said "I knew you had something to do with this"

"What are you talking about" i replied.

"Don't act all did you make him think he looks fat?"

I looked over at him,he was running all of the house still. Then refocused

back to Edward

"Uh..oh he and Emmett ruined my credit cards" I said to him.

"Well I'm going to act like I don't know anything" Edward said and walked off.

I realised that I would need the help of the entire family if I was going to pull this off.

**Ok. We got ten reviews on the last chappie. So now we need 15. Reccomend it to your friends and tell them to review. Also, our combined minds (which does not equal that much, jk) are running out of ideas, we need your ideas and if we use it we will tell the Voltouri not to attack you, No we can't do that but we will list your name on the next chapter and you will get hugs and giant man-eating cupcakes from us in the mail and....a preview of the next chapter. Loves!! ~Marisa and Cortney.**

**Preview for next chapter. After about 10 minutes of Jasper running through the house a vision came to me.**


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